Issue 22
There are two versions of you.
The one people see. And the one you actually are.
Most men spend the majority of their lives managing the first one. Curating it. Polishing it. Making sure it looks right from every angle. The right image on social media. The right words in the right rooms. The right version of events when someone asks how things are going.
I know because I've done it. Still catch myself doing it.
Running a business online means your life becomes content whether you want it to or not. The training sessions make good posts. The mindset wins make good captions. The Stoic quotes land well at seven in the morning when people are scrolling before work. And none of that is dishonest exactly. But it's selective. And selective truth over a long enough period starts to feel like a performance even to yourself.
Epictetus talked about this. He said we all play roles in life, some chosen and some assigned to us, and that wisdom is knowing the difference between the role and the self. The role is what you show. The self is what you are when the audience leaves.
The question worth sitting with is this: who shows up at 6am when there's no one watching?
Not the Instagram version. Not the version that's got a caption ready. The actual you. Tired maybe. Uncertain sometimes. But showing up anyway, or not, and having to live with whichever one it is.
That version is the truth of you. Everything else is packaging.
I'm not saying stop building a brand or stop sharing what you're doing. I'm saying know the difference between the two. Because when you stop knowing the difference, the performance starts to replace the person. And that's when discipline becomes hollow because you're only doing the work when someone might see it.
Real discipline happens in private. That's what makes it real.
Stoic anchor:
Epictetus wrote: "First say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do."
Not what you'd like people to think you are. What you would actually be. There's a version of you that you already know you're capable of. The work is closing the gap between that version and the one that currently wakes up every morning.
This week's challenge:
Write down three things you do because of how they look to other people.
Then write down three things you do purely because they're genuinely you, because they matter regardless of whether anyone ever knows about them.
Look at the two lists. Notice the gap.
You don't need to share this with anyone. In fact, it's better if you don't. This one is just for you.
See you soon.
— Mori Mindset